Dear Joshua,
I’ll be honest with you. I’m surprised you’re still here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you are, it’s just flabbergasting to see that you’ve made it this far, what with the years you’ve had. Your battles with pornography and masturbation, your insecurities, the pedestals you’ve been placed and those you’ve placed yourself on, comparing yourself to the ones closest to you because you felt you could never come close to what they are. What can I say? It’s been ugly, and honestly, I half expected you to have given up at this point. Yet, you're still you’re here, and quite frankly, I couldn’t be more joyful.
You know, I can hardly begin to fathom how incredibly blessed you are. A lot of people would love to have what you have; doesn’t matter if it’s a lot or even very little. They would have loved to have anything at all. And what you have Joshua, is enough. What you are, is enough. I know it’s been really hard to tell yourself that for a long time, but this is the truth. You’re so much more than what you think of yourself, far more than what anybody else can ever say about you and exactly what your Father says you are. Enough. I understand that even now, it’s still tough to accept this as truth, especially when you’ve been believing a lie for so long. Being told that your worth comes from the degree you hold, that you have to act a certain way in order for anyone to accept you, trying to live up to the societal standards of today’s world, that if you look a certain way, then you’ll be accepted as a certain person. You’ve believed all of this, and due to these pressures, you’ve tried to arrange most of your life attempting to be someone other than you. Someone who isn't in God's blueprint. Not the weird, quirky and lovable guy that his friends and family love, but a facade that tried to want the acceptance of others as if that would bring meaning to his life. Well, you're wrong. Who he is, what he is. It's just fine.
I know life hasn’t been the same since you left high school, and even worse with the decisions, you made in your life. Not to mention the massive criticisms and judgments you’ve had to endure that came with said decision-making. Also, the doubts of ever living up to your fullest potential, fears of never living up to your fullest potential, and even having to deal with the discouragement you out on yourself for not living up to your fullest potential. Yet, through it all, you’ve done exactly that. Endure. Despite it all, you’ve fought to remain, maintain and keep moving forward. You stopped caring about others’ opinions in order to fix something about you that was never broken, had the guts to look in the mirror and love who was staring back at you, be the best you God has ever created. Regardless of the pain, brokenness, broken heart, and years-long fight. You endured. And you didn't do it alone, either.
You've got a family that loves you, no matter how differently they show it, they do. Wanting the absolute best for you in every way, shape, and form, they're hard on you to see the best in you (a lot of expectation is drawn from being the firstborn son, nothing new). Friends, who you don't have to compare yourself to, that care for you and desire for the path you walk in life to be a blessed and flourishing one. You have a GOD who created you to be everything He created you to be. Sure, your relationship with Him has had a tendency to be rocky, and inconsistent, and on various occasions, you've felt like an utter failure in this walk with Him. Well, if you ask me, I'd say you're the strongest I've ever seen you be. Can you believe that is the real question? You have your moments, mess-ups, letdowns, and heartaches, but you still got back up. A little while ago, you CHOSE to be stronger, you CHOSE to keep going, you CHOSE to run this race without pause, hesitation, or quitting. You CHOSE God.
I say all this to say this:
I’m proud of you and I thank God for you. You’ve come such a long way, traveled a tough journey, and fought a good fight. I honestly can’t believe you’re still standing today and it amazes how hard you’re still pushing. I never want you to stop pushing. Never stop being you, never compromise! You’ve got too much purpose, too big of a calling to waver. Stand tall and face every formidable danger that comes before you, keep your head held high looking down on adversity. So you’re not where you want to be now; at least you’re not where you used to be before, and that’s a victory in its own right. I’m not going to promise that everything is going to be perfect from this point on, but I can encourage you to keep trying, keep pressing on, keep it pushing, and keep trusting Him. No way you won’t be okay as long as He’s got your back. Continue to look in the mirror and speak to the man that stares back at you. Tell him to “Be strong and courageous” (JOSHUA 1:9 coincidence? I think not). Stay you, Joshua.
Be you. Love you. "Let go, let God." That's the advice you give to everyone else. Now it's your turn to live it. Keep fighting, dude. Champ's not done until the work is done. You got this.
Happy 24th Birthday, Joshua Pierre.
P.S. Stop being so hard on yourself. Smile. You're only human.
#wordsbyjoshy
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